The Gift as a Flower

It’s hard to put these emotions into phrases. I shall struggle nevertheless. I’m waking up in a cemetery, something restricts my view. I continue wandering towards every spot of this cemetery. Every time I take a step, I continue dropping deeper and harder into questions that jeopardize my own being. What do I pursue? What do I seek? For what reason I am in this cemetery? Every time I seek answers, it shifts into death, a withering corpse that is mirroring me. What should I do? I get suffocated by these questions of my own. These questions, however, are not causing a wave towards my own being. It’s like a quiet ocean. I always knew these questions. I always inquired myself with these before. These questions are just my own genuine voice.

Why I am so relaxed in this? I feel like in a deep ocean, quiet, expressing the sense of a cemetery yet quite calm. I find consolation here, why? Confronting my own emotions with my question, I look at myself within these questions. These emotions lead me to the reality that yet to occur, but existing, yet to alive, but not death either. I’m just a decaying carcass, still this feeling of tranquility is there. There must be more than carrying no attachments. There must be more than carrying no servitude. Because why I am suffering with my awareness of this carcass? Aren’t I just linked to this carcass in this first place to become mindful of it? Aren’t I adhered to these searches that jeopardize my own being? Still expressing the most pleasant passions, aren’t they just my own awareness struggling to understand my own conscious?

Seek further and plunge deeper, my love,

Yet there is something you have to discover
A relief from your most esteemed
Your beloved submitting herself in the most magnificent and exquisite form,
Just for the sake of her loved one, she’s eagerly presenting herself,
Her own soul to be with you.
Develop into one, live as one, worship as one, look as one, be joyous as one,
Even in anguish, be as one.

This is dark journey of your soul is only completed with your beloved,
Let her illuminate your mind with my works.
Let her illuminate your soul as the most splendid.
Go on, find her and receive her hand,
Cherish her, my child.

I’m just a rotting cadaver that is rotting and struggling to discover itself within time/myself. How can i discover her? But I must meet her. For I have a beginning, so I have an end. I’m paralyzed without my dear one, and my days are near. My father offered me the blossom of my soul, blossom to this corrupt cadaver, just so I can be delivered and enjoy the delight, feel the melancholy, enjoy the time itself. Enjoy it in my lungs to my spirit, every fiber of my body yearns for my beloved. We have yet to make each other pleased; we have many delightful, pleasant works to play, my treasure. Let us fill our cups, let us waltz in this moment, all is ours! All shall be ours! For it’s our nature to make each other feel alive, for there’s nobody that can come between us. For we are exalted by the God itself. For we are baptized by the God itself. Grant me your hand, my beloved.

Let us waltz in these uninhabited gardens,
Let me kiss you, let me embrace you, my beloved.
For every breath we exchange,
For every look you give me,
For every feeling there is,

You hand out the most ecstatic emotions to me
Let us illuminate these barren gardens,
So we can give birth to our passion further.

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